By: Gen. Jim – 3/20/25
In politics we hear this term often. The Left accuses the leadership of the Right of being narcissistic & the Right does the same to the Left.
Woodland Pool
We’ve all seen the picture of Narcissus (from which the word narcissism came from) admiring himself in a reflection in a woodland pool, hence, falling in love with what he saw – HIMSELF! So, narcissism takes its name from the legendary figure Narcissus, who pined away in unrequited love, & has come to refer to “self love”. But isn’t “love of self” Biblical? Let’s take a look at where this is found: “… you shall love your neighbor as yourself” (Mt. 19:19; see O.T. Lev. 19:18). Mark, Luke, Romans, Gal., James, all speak of this. So, is it wrong to “love thy self”?
Back to Narcissus
There is a “self-love” that is warned against in the Word. In the world’s sense it involves a vain & grandiose self-centeredness, & autoeroticism, hedonism, vanity, pride, exhibitionism etc. This century is characterized as the age of narcissism – self-centered focus = me, my, mine. The Church has adopted this worldly attitude where “love of self”/ “have your best life now”/ “get the biggest, the best, & the most for self” is taught & practiced. Humble living is looked down upon. Fasting has been replaced with feasting (literally & figuratively). Dying to self & denying self are looked upon as CULTISH.
That female Jezebel, Joyce M. teaches “God is crazy about you!” Really? As she struts her stuff in front of cheering “ladies” & lusting “gentlemen” week after week. Paula W. is another Church darling that is in love with herself. I could list dozens & dozens (male/female/trans) that are in LOVE with themselves – the wrong way. According to those who work in the world of human behavior, narcissism is a feature of many mental disorders, some high degree some low degree. They call is “personality disorder”. Is there a difference between narcissistic personality disorder from other personality disorders?
Is “N” in the Bible?
No. Not the word itself, but certainly in principle/idea. Jesus taught to love God first, not neighbor or self. The way the Bible presents it (the texts found in those books mentioned above) love of self is neither repudiated nor encouraged, rather our attitudes towards God & others are called to be in balance. Take what Paul wrote in Rom. 12:3 for example: “… every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he (or she) ought to think…” Is Paul pointing out something important here? First, vs.2 he writes “… be not conformed to this world,” the world of pride & perversion. He tells us to be transformed in mind… which will guide one’s actions or non-actions. Vs.3 he certainly alludes to pride & to cultivating humility; pride or self-love causes the “inflated ego” disorder, the insidious character that is called abomination is in the Bible.
Prov. 6:16 tells us that God HATES “A proud look” – top of the list of 7 ABOMINATIONS! (see Ps. 101:5 = “… The one who has a haughty look & a proud heart, him I will not endure.” Prov. 6:17, “A proud look”, reflects a proud heart! One could spend hours researching Scriptures (examining exegesis/expositions in commentaries et al.) on this subject. Paul continues with his theme (e.g. 12:3) where he writes: “… mind not high things, but condescend to men of low estate. Be not wise in your own conceits,” vs.16. Other versions have “haughty” rather than “wise”. This means humility/meekness should guide one’s life in Christ, not pride!
Narcissism/pride destroys the harmony of any community. Look at the world’s horrid condition today – world leaders at each other’s throats… ready to kill for “prides’ sake”.
Again, Paul uses “the sword that cuts & the fire that burns” when he penned, “For if anyone think himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself” – Gal. 6:3 (read vss.4 & 5 also).
Here We Go –
Paul lays out a list of evils “… in the last days” (2 Tim. 3:1). He starts with none other than “men will be LOVERS of THEMSELVES,” vs.2. Yep! “lovers of self.”! This is the wrong kind of self-love, for it is put in Paul’s vice list. Pride is a synonym for narcissism, has long been considered one of the 7 DEADLY SINS. The Bible repeatedly WARNS against pride (e.g. Prov. 16:18; Ja. 4:6 et al.), & to a lesser degree arrogance (Prov. 8:13; Jer. 48:26 et al.).
We are called but many times do not esteem others more than our-selves, (Phil. 2:3,4) & to serve others in love (Gal. 5:13).
Dialectical Behavior Therapy
Really now, can those who work in the field of Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) help the narcissist? Much of it is BS & a waste of time & $$. I’ve worked in institutions (in both “Christian” & secular) where all this BS is prescribed as a “cure all”. HA! I never saw it work. In fact, in a highly respected Christian organization I was called into the office of the person in charge – a complaint was launched against me because I taught from the Bible – “God is our helper/healer” – the very Bible this respected organization used to teach from in their beginning. NOT so now! NO sir! They took to the secular way – pills & psychology BS. Never helped a soul. I was told by the second-in-command that not ONE soul had been saved in the past 10 years! Yep! not ONE. I led many to Christ as did my wife (she also worked there in the medical dept. – dealing in prescription drugs & counseling. The person over us, the one who took me to the person in charge (a large system too) got fired & we were offered a nice position with a “Big Title” & all we needed.
Well, God had other plans for us so eventually we left & eventually started what today is known as Aggressive Christianity Missions Training Corps, aka ACMTC. That organization was so proud of their heritage but failed in its original mission “hand up, not hand outs.” They were quick to hand out drugs & spend countless, yet fruitless hours – even days – of psychological, psychasthenic, psychiatry, psychoanalysis… psychiatry, psychoanalysis… psychobabble resulting in confusion (even a few suicides! Yep.) One female literally cut herself so bad that she died. We tried our hardest to turn her around, but she ENDED her young life in that demonic manner. Others we saw changed – some homos/lesbians/drunks/druggies etc.
DBT, developed by Marsha Linehan (in 1993) for the treatment of borderline personality disorder. It is said she has had some success. This process of hers has been extended to include narcissistic personality disorder.
While I believe that God can & has used the world’s methods, I prefer to call upon Him first, man second. God knows man needs help, so He has allowed man to create help & helpers. Some think we refuse doctors/medications etc. The truth is, we believe in both – God & man. While we’ve seen soooo many healings/deliverances, we’ve also seen failures.
How one is delivered/healed from narcissism depends. I’m not God but I have seen Him heal such people – others were not. But I do not lose hope when I see hopelessness abound.